IT'S BIO TIME!I was the last surviving son of the planet Krypton. My father, the eminent scientist, Jor-El, loaded me into a rocket along with 300 cans of Enfamil and blasted me off to the planet Earth, where my capsule landed in the Delaware River about 3 miles downstream of the Tacony-Palmyra Bridge. I was taken in by a family of human beings. They puzzled over what to call me. "Hmmm," said one. "What should we call him? All the cool names are taken." "Ah," replied another. "Call him Just Bob. We'll think of something better later." But they never did. I grew up listening to rock radio and though, "I have found my calling. I will bring rock to the masses and enlighten them. To the title and artist of the songs, that is. I'll tell them that." In the process I learned much about the world, including the proper pronunciation of "Cavo".
Q&A:
Q. Where ya from?
A. Originally Philadelphia, now a rotating series of my friends' couches.
Q. What scares you?
A. The thought of being abducted by Jefferson Starship
Q. Favorite drink?
A. NOS (fruit punch flavor) and any energy drink, really.
Q. Favorite food? (Body parts are not a food)
Q. Favorite food? (Body parts are not a food)
A. Tabasco flavored monster Slim Jims
Q. Favorite movie and TV show?
A. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, Caprica
Q. Craziest run-in with a Bob Rocks fan?
Q. Craziest run-in with a Bob Rocks fan?
A. At the Jingle Ball this one hottie hiked up her dress and showed Dirty Bob and me her underwear. They were silver...mmm, shiny.
Q. What does a woman/man have to do to get with you?
A. For starters, show up with a pulse and a purse with a platinum card.
Q. If you could have world peace or fifty million dollars, which would you choose and why?
Q. If you could have world peace or fifty million dollars, which would you choose and why?
A. I'd take the fitty mill. With that kind of scratch I could buy the world a piece and still have beer money left over. Oh wait, you said world peace? Yeah, same answer.
Q. The Bobs are always talking about food on the air. Give us a good recipe to make tonight. (Meth is not a food.)
Q. The Bobs are always talking about food on the air. Give us a good recipe to make tonight. (Meth is not a food.)
A. Introducing Just Bob's Chili pie: Open a can of chili (I recommend Hormel) and pour it into a bag of Fritos (I recommend Scoops). Add cheddar and sour cream to taste. Eat. Enjoy. Simple.
Q. Holy s!#t! You just found a magic lamp and you now rock on the guitar! What is your band gonna be called?
A. The Red White & Blue Electric Outdoor Protestant Blues Band.
Q. You've been captured by evil terrorists. They have a gun to your head and you must make love to Rosie O'Donnell or a rabid porcupine in order to go free. How do you swing?
Q. You've been captured by evil terrorists. They have a gun to your head and you must make love to Rosie O'Donnell or a rabid porcupine in order to go free. How do you swing?
A. I'll take Rosie, I gave up beastiality for lent. Well, I think Rosie is human, anyways.
Q. What's your dirty little secret?
Q. What's your dirty little secret?
A. I'm a dyslexic atheist; I sit around pondering if there really is a dog.
Q. Say something nice about your co-Bobs.
Q. Say something nice about your co-Bobs.
A. Sorry, my mom always said if you can't tell the truth, shut yer trap. No wait, I thought of something: they all have very nice posture, and are sometimes punctual.
Q. Talk some s!#t about your co-Bobs.
A. Crazy Bob wears elf pants; Big Bob has a larger carbon footprint than Dick Cheney; Ginger Bob wears women's underwear; Dirty Bob thinks beer is a food group; She Bob once tore the tag off a mattress; and Slum Bob like to relax by watching Harry Potter movies in reverse.
Contact Just Bob:
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Just-Bob-Dirty-Bob/119193671440262
Contact Just Bob:
facebook: http://www.facebook.com/pages/Just-Bob-Dirty-Bob/119193671440262
