Big Bob

IT'S BIO TIME!

I was born very young and small in the hills of southern West Virginia. As a child I had a Mr. Microphone, and used to talk up songs on the radio like I was a DJ. Even at four years old, I knew this would be my only chance at getting any lady action as an adult. A lot of stuff happened between then and now. Those events are as follows: Wrecked my bike and cracked my skull, got a cat, Atari, elementary school, cat died, Nintendo, new cat, Disney world, bad sunburn, middle school, cat died, fell off bike again, this time balls turn purple, high school, first car, girls, wreck some cars..ouch, see Grateful Dead (discover many new things), find greatest cat ever, get arrested for being stupid (thanks for bail and Waffle House Mom), college (didn’t make it to the end), 28 different jobs, hundreds of concerts, millions of beers, win first radio job in a game of pool (no joke), hang out in Canada and Mexico, lots of girls, best cat ever dies, we start Bob Rocks, I get a big TV…..That’s about it, my life in a paragraph.

Q&A:

Q. Where ya from?

A. Those West Virginia hills, how majestic and how grand!

Q. What scares you?

A. Stupid People

Q. Favorite drink?

A .18 year old Jameson when I’m feeling frisky, Vodka and sugar free Hawaiian Punch Lemon Berry Squeeze is my every day booze.

Q. Favorite food? (Body parts are not a food)

A .Lobster, crab, shrimp, steak, and raw oysters….all on the same plate.

Q. Favorite movie and TV show?

A .Blazing Saddles, no question. The Simpsons, Entourage, and Survivor tie.

Q. Craziest run-in with a Bob Rocks fan?

A. Some crazy guy wanted me to sign his forehead at a bar. I wrote “ Look at me, I’m a big dumb ass that had Big Bob sign my forehead” He thought it was cool, proving my point, that he was indeed a dumbass.

Q. What does a woman/man have to do to get with you?

A. I’m not as easy as you may think. Should I feel the need for a woman’s sweet embrace, she needs to bring her A-Game. Psychos need not apply. I’m not really down with being made into a lampshade for some crazy chicks living room.

Q. If you could have world peace or fifty million dollars, which would you choose and why?

A. Ha, are you kidding me. These other tools may lie to you and say world peace, but my ass is taking the money. The world has been fighting for thousands of years and keeps on spinning. I want a solid gold house with mink carpet.

Q. The Bobs are always talking about food on the air. Give us a good recipe to make tonight. (Meth is not a food.)

A. Use Peeps in place of regular marshmallows in smores. Its like crack on a graham cracker. Don’t blame me when you wind up in rehab.

Q. Holy s!#t! You just found a magic lamp and you now rock on the guitar! What is your band gonna be called?

A. Guzzling to Glory or Awesomely Awful

Q. You've been captured by evil terrorists. They have a gun to your head and you must make love to Rosie O'Donnell or a rabid porcupine in order to go free. How do you swing?

A. I guess I’m gonna be picking quills out of my most sensitive of naughty parts.

Q. What's your dirty little secret?

A. My name isn’t really Big Bob, it’s Glue Sniffing Bob, but the owner made me change it.

Q. Is it true you hate mayonnaise? (for Big Bob only)

A. No, I don’t hate mayonnaise, it goes way past hate. I think that s!#t is beyond disgusting, and if you eat it, your mother must have not loved you enough as a child. I don’t allow it in my home, nor will dine with it in my line of sight. Answering this question is making me sick, let’s move on.

Q. Say something nice about your co-Bobs.

A. Ginger Bob- Loves the same bands as me, hates the same bands as me. We both don’t like children and birds. She’s really just a female me, which makes her pretty damn cool.

Crazy Bob- Always down for some food. Dude will go eat anytime, and always has quality snacks in his office. Our lunch conversations could be an HBO comedy special.

Dirty Bob- Will drink antifreeze the day before payday, but still be the funniest human alive.

Slumbob Millionaire- Appreciates the finer points of the strip club. Has a Harley….I’m jealous.

Just Bob- Dude is a smartass, I love that.

She Bob- Always smells good. Most of these guys smell like mote carp.

Q. Talk some s!#t about your co-Bobs.

A. Ginger Bob- Cant do it.

Crazy Bob- Needs to calm down on the Harvey Danger issue. Known to eat Mayonnaise.

Dirty Bob- Also known to eat mayonnaise.

Slumbob Millionaire- Might eat mayonnaise.

Just Bob- Don’t think he eats mayonnaise…good for him!

She Bob- Eats mayonnaise, I think….sicko!

Contact Big Bob:
email: bigbob@1015bobrocks.com
facebook: www.facebook.com/pages/1015-BOB-ROCKS/113855060420